Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The Third Job I Should Be Doing: Ted

Josh writes:

I guess if I wanted I could always go back to stuffed animals. I worked my way through University as a teddy bear taxidermist. They'd come in from the teddy farms already dead, and it'd be our job to cure them and stuff them. Gouging out their tiny sockets to put the glass eyes in was always the tricky bit. Well, that and dealing with the ones that weren't slaughtered properly.

The professionals just gas them (electrocution singes the fur too much) but some of the cowboy operations off them the old fashioned way. That's why a lot of them have so many seams: gotta cover up the stab wounds somehow. And the bullet holes -- don't get me started. Ever wonder why Paddington Bear wears such a big hat? Fucking amateurs.

Still, the pay was good and teddy offal does wonders for the garden.

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