One Saturday a couple of weeks ago, at the height of summer, my girlfriend was out of the house for the day, so it seemed like an opportune time to sit down and watch the copy of Boa vs. Python* I'd been given for my birthday. The heat that afternoon meant that it was very much ice block weather, so I ambled off to the dairy for some pre-movie coolants: "Mmm... ice block. Actually, a drink to go with the movie could be nice. What'll it be? Coke? Mountain Dew? Ooh..."
Royal Crown Draft Cola.
I can say without a word of a lie that my heart leapt at the thought of blobbing out in front of a fan with herpetological hijinks on the box and the chocolatey flavour of a bit of Royal Crown to wash it down.
On the walk back home, I reflected on how lucky I was to be a man of simple pleasures -- a cool flat, a shitty B-movie, and soft drink from a glass bottle is, it turns out, all I need to be truly happy. Am I remarkable in this, or are the rest of you just as easy to please? What must life be like for those whose contentment is contingent on more lotfy goals, be they world peace, an end to disease or the formation of a socialist/libertarian/Islamic/Christian utopia? Shit, that's what.
Come over here guys -- get some Boa vs. Python down ya. You get to see Angel Boris' tits and everything.
* In which Giant Snake threatens middle Armerica. The goverment sets out to stop it, calling on the aid of the Giant Snake's natural enemy: Another Giant Snake. Best. Movie. Ever. And yet total shit as well -- the paradox of Modern Cinema.