Apathy Jack writes:

So, I was reading in the paper a day or so back about the outrage caused when they (in this context “they” being, near as I can tell, some manner of cricketing authority, or maybe the venue) stopped selling alcohol at a cricket match. One punter said that he would no longer attend matches, because they had taken the fun out of it.

Now, I don’t follow sports with any form of commitment, but if a sport is so boring to watch that you have to be three sheets to the wind to gain any enjoyment out of it, surely it’s not worth watching...?

See, here’s the thing about cricket: It’s not just boring, it’s offensively boring.

I’ll compare it to the other major national sickness: Rugby. I also consider rugby to be deathly uninteresting, but I’m willing to see how some people could like it: It is fast paced; there is a lot of back and forth; there is interaction between a number of players: and if it happens to be a boring game, it’s over in less than an hour.

Cricket on the other hand, is slow, the games are almost identical in every respect, and they go on for days at a time.

Days.

I mean, for fuck’s sake: Days. For one game.

I’d be upset too if they didn’t let me drink myself into a stupor during one of these torturously dull sessions: I’d hate to be awake for that amount of time with so little to occupy my brain.