Dear The World,

Josh writes:

OK, I want you to do me a favour: Stick your hand down your pants there, grab on to those panties and just unbunch the crap out of them. Really, go nuts -- don't worry, I'll turn away, but I'm not turning back until everything's back in order down there. Done yet? No, don't worry, take as long as you need.

I mean, for gosh sakes, Nancy -- they're fucking cartoons, half of which have been in circulation for months. What pisses me off more than anything is that most of the people involved on both sides seem to be frothing with outrage purely because they've been told to. It really goes without saying that blowing shit up and burning shit down for such a crappy reason is just all kinds of dumb, but an impressive level of assclownery has also been attained by those publications (both online and in the real world) that have been publishing the cartoons themselves, invariably with one of two attitudes:

"Here are those offensive cartoons that the world's worked up about -- boy, I sure hope I don't offend anyone. I hope people don't flock to my website/paper and lavish attention upon me because of this..."

"Ooh, look at me -- I'm a Warrior in the Great War of Cultures. Take that, enemies of Free Speech! I know you're out there. Somewhere."

Can we not just drop the "The West" vs. "Muslims" crap for once and all go back to laughing at Asians? (OK, I know Engrish humour is well past its use by date, but come on -- "It delivers the feeling of being stoked to you as the Santa Claus does"? Comedy. Fucking. Gold.)

Anyway, Hewligan says much the same thing over at Mutopia, only he's more encompassing in his scorn and isn't trying so hard to sound like Dr. Cox from Scrubs. Give him a try if this didn't get through to you.

Love,

Josh.