Thursday, June 09, 2005

Hit Follies, Part I Can't Be Arsed Anymore

Josh writes:

OK, the funny search terms gag is getting a bit old, isn't it? I mean sure, the knowledge that someone out there is searching for diarrhoea lipstick (23 May 1:11AM), and that this search lead them to us is cause for joy, and yes, the thought of someone typing singe minge into Google (19 May 11:51AM) keeps me warm at night, but it gets wearing after a while. Time for another True Porn Clerk Stories quote:

I'm in the good swing of my porn emotional sine wave, where everything is hilarious instead of depressing. Actually, it's not quite a sine wave - I spend a fair amount of time in numb flatlining mode where nothing even registers. And there are exceptions: There's a Black Man in My Wife's Ass! always breaks me up no matter how bad a day I'm having. [Not all the titles can always do that. On bad days, Whose Pussy Is This? is a faintly disturbing illustration of sexual domination politics, since I know the proper answer is a breathy "It's yours!" rather than "It's mine, dickhead!" On good days, though, it's a particularly entertaining glimpse into the Lost and Found office.]

I'm starting to feel similarly about wacky search strings. The usual business (anal stab, deep throat hypnosis, hairy minge and so on) still raises a chuckle, but I'm beginning to deeply regret mentioning sheep fucking -- that alone has doubled our Google hits, with dangling labia providing more than its share as well.

What really pushed me over the edge though, was the zen-like couplet of rape bo (shown up a few times) and bo rape (9 Jun 11:28AM): The former a reassuring validation from a kindred spirit who shares a love of arts and literature; the latter calling to mind images of violation by martial arts weapon. No thank you.

So with that in mind, Hitlog Follies is consigned to the medical waste furnace of history, never to be seen again until I get bored and can't think of something better to do.

No comments: