Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Dear Satan,

Josh writes:

Like most people over the age of 20, I remember with fondness the 80s comedy action hit Beverly Hills Cop as the film which launched both the film career of Eddie Murphy and the techno forerunner hit, "Axel F". Can you suggest a good way of introducing this classic to today's youth market while furthering the cause of Ultimate Evil?

Perplexed, Kaukapakapa

Dear Perplexed,

What you want to do is release a new version and fill it with samples of an annoying talking frog jabbering meaningless shit every five seconds. I mean really fucking annoying -- "bim bim bip bip BAAP BAAP", that sort of thing. The magpie-like fascination your average trendy has for anything that could be vaguely construed as a gimmick will guarantee it's a huge hit, and all the while it'll be secretly destroying the very souls of anyone who listens to it. If you can get it in the charts at the same time as the fucking Schnappi thing, all the better.

Sorry, what? Oh. Bugger.

Ah well, back to nun-raping, I guess.




RSJS said...

I love that song. LOVE IT. Frog-gibberish and synth-pop. I am teh target audience of gimmick-music.

Of course nudey-frog blithering isn't as cool as the last neato gimmick bandwagon I clambered on: that of underage Russian lesbians in white t-shirts and rain singing about robots...

dreamer said...

Walking from my pod to the workroom at WCC the other day, I heard the original Axel F tune wafting its way around the atrium-type area where the two main council buildings are joined.

oh the memories!