Tuesday, February 06, 2007

A post with this many links is really a sign that Jack's holidays have been going on too long...

Apathy Jack writes:

So, your school gets an influx of young Emos. But, rather than belittle them or hit them with cheese, as would all right thinking people, you decide to cure them. You get them to believe that you are the arbiter of alternative music, so they’ll trust your choices, and you can lead them to The Way And The Path, away from listening to My Chemical Goodcharlotte, and other bands out there on the fringes, so to speak, of bad music.

So you spend a year building up your alternative cred – lending them Sisters of Mercy, Joy Division and the like. You make sure that you have better, and cooler, options ready for whatever they can suggest:

“You like Flyleaf? Let me lend you this Tura Satana CD. You like Alexis On Fire? Let me lend you some Mastodon. Panic At The Disco, you say? Those lyrics aren’t as clever as the ones Clutch have come up with – have a listen.”

And then they catch you at Real Groovy buying Billie Piper’s autobiography.

A year’s worth of cred-building...

Oh well, at least I can console myself with Billie Piper’s autobiography. It’s a problem with its own inbuilt solution, really...

And no, The Internet, I feel no regret, and I haven’t learned any sort of lesson from this. Screw you.

1 comment:

Hewligan said...

Hey Jack, what do these 3 people have in common:

1) Liza Minnelli

2) Liberace

3) Billie Piper