Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Everyone has a plan until they're punched in the face...

Apathy Jack writes:

In my time at Hoodrat Academy for Higher Learning, I've stepped into the middle of probably more than my fair share of fights. Sometimes the simple fact of my presence is enough to defuse the combatants, but sometimes I have to employ all of my (sadly meagre) strength to keep them apart. In five years, though, I've never been in a situation that was so out of control that my clothes have ended up torn.

Until, of course, today.

I was in my room working when the junior assembly let out. It seems weird to say "it sounded a bit off" but it did. Each routine at school has a certain pitch, and this, as I say, was slightly off. Enough so for me to wander to the gym, at any rate.

Outside, the students were gearing up for a fight. In actual fact, it looked like they were gearing up for several fights. One of my informants told me it was because one Year 10 had hit another. Neither was visible, but their respective friends were circling in various unhealthy permutations.

I went to the group that looked most volitile, arriving just in time for the punching to start. It was half a dozen or so to one, so I grabbed the "one" more out of expediency than anything else, and tried to break things up. The group behind me, joined by several more from various sides, surged over me, punching and flailing. I had kids trying to pull me off their target so they could get their shots in.

As the lot of us went down in a heap, I heard my shirt rip. I hoped it was just the buttons, but it ended up being a fist-sized hole in the chest.

I found myself quite literally buried under a pile of students - the PE teacher later told me it looked like I was under a scrum. The fists were still flying, and I had a vague thought of covering the body of the original intended victim with my own, but in the heap of writing pummling bodies, I had lost track of who was who.

I became dimly aware of another English teacher and the Deputy Principal pulling students off me, so I got to my feet, picked up my cellphone from where it had flown from my pocket, and put on my shoe that had somehow come off. I then went to where the next fight was breaking out, grabbed another student, and started again.

I tell you, the girls at my school are scary sometimes...

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