I see you’ve played knifey-spoony before...

Apathy Jack writes:

So, kid killed himself after a beating by the local fight club was caught on camera, you say?

I have a bunch of stuff to say about this, mostly revolving around the fact that everyone who isn’t me is a retard, but that can wait. Random stuff it makes me think of, though...

We had a fight club at Hoodrat High. When I read that Takapuna Grammar’s group had fifteen students, my initial reaction was something to the effect of “that’s not a fight club – it’s barely a fight ensemble” – Hoodrat’s had dozens of boys. Only three boxing gloves between them, which made things a bit awkward...

I approached the Head of PE at one point and asked him about setting up boxing as a sport, to be told in no uncertain terms that it would be too dangerous. I pointed out that way they were currently boxing – behind the library, whoever-loses-the-coin-toss-only-has-one-glove, and with a sixteen-year-old adrenaline-junkie as referee - could also be construed as potentially unsafe. I was again told that it would be too dangerous, but essentially from a PR standpoint; the students were going out of their way to hide, meaning no parents could see it, unlike setting up a dirty great boxing ring in the gym.

Can you spell ‘plausible deniability’ children?



No, I didn’t think you could. Moving on...

T’other day, all the junior school lurking around the gym after swimming stuff, some of mine decided to stage a fight. The Dean and I watched as their friends filmed their half-assed attempts to mimic a ferocious battle.

The Dean turned to me.

“Sir, do you want to go and remind those ladies that this is not the way students at this school behave?”

I wandered over, and shouted “Oi! You fia gangstas are doing it wrong! For a start, only one of you actually looks like you’re in a fight – the other one keeps smiling! Here, I’ll show you...”

It’s nice I can still give Deans the odd headache – lets me know I'm doing my job properly...