Apathy Jack writes:
You know it's not going to end well when a student starts the conversation with: "Now, promise you won't give me a twenty-minute lecture, but..."
So I signed out one of my little goths today. Another Lost One. I know all of the tricks to get them to stay: Be it bribery, threats, or just plain asking them to stick around for a while longer, I know all the right words.
I also know when it's not going to work, no matter how hard I try.
I made her promise to give back the books, CDs and DVDs she's borrowed from me, and I returned those I'd borrowed off her. I didn't sign her leaving form until she had given me her and her mother's cellphone numbers, so I can check up in a couple of months, to make sure she's not sitting around watching tv all day.
I really thought we could save this one, overcome her hatred of school and turn it into a stabilising influence in the middle of her somewhat tumultuous life, instead of being just another cause of hardship.
Walking the field at lunchtime to clear my head after the bad news. It's easier to process things surrounded by the noise and chaos - things just make more sense out there. I see one of mine who I haven't caught up with in a few days, and remind her of certain deals made to procure work from her.
"You said you'd have it to me a while back," I tell her. "I'm beginning to lose faith."
"I'm beginning to lose faith too," she says quietly.
"Look, I don't want you losing faith in yourself. But it's important that I don't either, because right now faith is all that's stopping me from killing you."
"She'll have it to you in a few days," pipes up one of her friends.
"Do you know which work we're talking about?" I ask.
"Yeah," and she names it accurately. "She calls me and tells me about it."
"Yeah," says another friend. "She called me at three in the morning last weekend to tell me 'I'm stressing about the work I promised Mister'."
My faith is coming back slowly...