Monday, August 07, 2006

What They Don't Want You to Know

That Morthos Stare writes:

In order to understand Selectivism you need to realize that everything is controlled by the Neo-Catholics who are made up of gypsies with help from the Turks.

The conspiracy first started during sinking of the Rainbow Warrior in Arkansas. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including King Harold inventing the lollipop.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified only by raping cats.

They want to force Omar Sharif into being emo and they plan to imprison resisters in Tokoroa via airships.

In order to prepare for this, we all must begin splunking. Since the media is controlled by Mormons we should get our information from John Hood.

The Conspiracy Generator

3 comments:

Josh said...

Should that be "splunking" or "spelunking"?

I don't know what "splunking" is, and frankly I don't think I want to.

Herr Dummkopf von Kranken-Brainen said...

Alright, I need some clarification here. Do we identify members of the conspiracy because they often rape cats ... or do we have to rape cats to identify them?

The answer could save some potential embarrassment.

The Hand of Morthos said...

The statement 'They can be identified only by raping cats' seems to indicate that it is a necessary condition that the identification of a Selectivist/Neo-Catholic is through the act of cat rape; i.e. if you want to know if you're dealing with a Neo-Catholic/Selectivist you're going to need a cat...