Friday, April 28, 2006

All The News Of The Broken Planet

Apathy Jack writes:

Right, I'm consolodating: I ran Broken Planet News as a separate entity, but now I'm folding it into Brain Stab here.

So, the week's news:

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Police Hunt for Chimps After Fatal Attack

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The British home secretary has said he will not resign after it emerged 1,023 foreign prisoners, inclusing murderers and rapists, had been freed rather than deported.

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Mans stepdaughter molested. Man campaigns for tougher sex crimes laws. Man uses syringe to inseminate stepdaugter with his semen because wife cannot concieve. Man convicted under tougher laws he helped pass.

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From his cell, the 41-year-old Detroiter repeatedly explained to Livonia police that the man they were looking for was his identical twin, Carnelle. But from April to November 2002, he languished in jail, unable to make bond, until investigators finally believed him.

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All bloggers are perverts. Exhibit A: "Regarding a potential motive," Purcell Police Chief David Tompkins said Saturday, "this appears to have been part of a plan to kidnap a person, rape them, torture them, kill them, cut off their head, drain the body of blood, rape the corpse, eat the corpse then dispose of the organs and bones."

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Man's bid for virgin bride enrages neighbors...

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A nurse who injected patients with potentially fatal doses of drugs so he could "enjoy the excitement" of reviving them has been convicted.

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I smoke P and I'm alright - even with the twelve nails in my head.

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And finally, Romania has legalised witchcraft.

6 comments:

The Hand of Morthos said...

Bravo. Might I suggest that if you are going to do a digest post, however, that you use the 'span' tag?

anth said...

Here are a couple of stories I've been meaning to post on Broken Planet News:

Man throws knives at cops, then his penis which he had severed himself, then runs off and returns with more knives

DEA agent shoots himself in foot while giving presentation to youth group, sues government for releasing video

This last one didn't really belong at BPN, and is pretty old, but there has to be somewhere for a Victorian sex education manual. For children. With monkeys.

Miss T said...

All of these articles have served to renew my faith in my fellow humans. Ahhh. The world is in good hands.

Now to figure out how I can get a nubile virgin groom....

Apathy Jack said...

This is the "blogosphere" - surely virgins abound?

Apathy Jack said...

Come on, this is the "blogosphere" - surely male virgins can't be that hard to find?

Miss T said...

I don't know... I haven't put out a notice in the local paper like that guy in America yet.

How would you even word something like that? Dysfunctional person seeks life partner with limited experience, so as not to find my own lacking?

I just love how that man was all 'they can range from the age of fourteen!' Quality