Monday, November 05, 2007

Hang 'em higher

RSJS writes:

So on this ball of rock with the gooey caramel centre we have a billion-odd (and I do mean odd) strong god-squad of Bible-brainwashed bigots all wearing wee crosses, symbolising that admirably-simple method of torturing people to death, the crucifix. Akin to the fad of baseball caps and badges bearing the slogan "I shot J.R." or those punky wee scamps the Sex Pistols wearing swastikas.

Jokes abound about the son-of-himself dude not returning until everyone packed away their torture devices and laid out oh, I don't know, myrrh and Frankenstein, or milk and bickies perhaps? And after he's killed off again one assumes unless he gets strung up on crossed sticks again (and given the gaping stigmata holes in his appendages he'd probably just slip off the nails this time, it seems highly unlikely) we'll have to replace the symbols with his new murder weapon.

Which is where "bling" comes in.

From my rigorous surveying of comedic Mr T types pulling up their pants on MTV and sporting far too many neck-danglies and grilles and rings and diamante iPods and all that crap, I noted three recurring images hanging where once laid civilised crucifixes and clocks. They are diamond-encrusted guns, spinning tyre rims, and marijuana leaves.

I think it means that Jesus has already returned and was shot in a drive-by by some drug-dealers in some Los Angeles suburb.

The fact that this didn't make the news adds weight to the argument that Jesus was black.


Apathy Jack said...

Have you read Garth Ennis' 'Chronicles of Wormwood'? It posits that Jesus came back as a black, dreadlocked peace activist, but suffered irreparable brain damage after encountering the LAPD, who have a fairly low tolerance of black, dreadlocked peace activists...

RSJS said...

Not yet: Joshwah, you have a vast Garth collection, might I peruse?

Josh said...