Apathy Jack writes:

It occurs to me that I’ve never mentioned the mannequin they replaced me with at Hoodrat. While he seemed relatively inoffensive the one time I met him, I could certainly think of better uses for eighty-five kilograms of meat. His teaching is best exemplified by my old Year 13 class. Wagging is as bad a problem as it always has been, with, as an example, the Creator’s thirty-four strong English class having up to a dozen absences every day. But my Classics class (comprised of most of the same kids) has been down to single-figure attendance for weeks now. I got three texts today during what would have been Classics, bemoaning the state of the class. This isn’t unusual.

Except...

One of mine accidentally hit ‘send’ to my old number instead of my new. My old number which you may recall was a school phone. Which is why in the middle of some rant or another barely connected to ancient Rome, the puppet’s phone beeped, and he read:

Sir clasikz is deteriorating without u... We have an exam next week and no one thinks theyl pass at all. Its madness! Any chance you can help?

My new colleagues wanted to know why I burst out laughing in the middle of the staff room. I’m not sure “so I don’t cry” was the appropriate answer...